That moment when December turns from the happiest time of year to the month with record numbers of anxiety attacks.

I've been in a bit of a blogging and overall life funk this past week. This is why. I wrote this post Sunday night at work to be posted Monday morning but when I got home I was too tired to think about editing and getting it put together. So I went to sleep. Then I slept all day until Tristan woke me up right before we were meeting my family for dinner. So it stayed in drafts, until now.

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I can't even believe I am writing this post! I have been so excited for this season, obviously, and now that it's here I've gotten myself a little overwhelmed. Which happens right?

Presents still aren't bought. The house still isn't decorated. I haven't had time to make the wreath for the door. We've done one, yep just one, Christmasy thing. And christmas is 16 days away. Did I mention that I work Christmas Eve and Christmas? And I have a total of four days off work between now and then. I had a moment where all of the sudden I was asking why do we even bother? It's not going to be the normal Christmas season with me working every weekend anyway. It's definitely not going to be a normal Christmas spent at the hospital. We are just way too busy. We don't have time to do everything we normally do. And life is just in the way. So what's the point?

And then... The realization.

I felt so guilty. Because are the presents, Santa, decorations, parties, traditions and treats what this season is really about? Of course not so why stress myself about it all? Yeah they are fun but that's not the point. My Christmas season can't be "ruined" just because I don't have the time to watch every Christmas movie and see every amazing light display in Utah.

Here are the four things I'm going to do to make this season more enjoyable AND more centered on Christ.

one || keep the decorations up long into january. Why not? We were late to get them up so what's the harm in enjoying them a little longer?

one || watch or read the Christmas devotional (I worked, as seems to be the usual these days and was unable to watch it). Once, twice, as many times as I need to get into the appropriate holiday spirit. Make quote printables from it to display around the house.

two || every day off work schedule something fun to do with Tristan. Whether it be gingerbread houses or just watching Christmas movies with hot chocolate it needs to penciled in so that everyone is on the same page.

two || bring back the childhood tradition of filling Christ's manger by serving others. We used to put one straw in for every nice thing said or done to anyone in the family or outside the family. And we had to fill it up otherwise baby Jesus wouldn't have a comfortable place to sleep come Christmas morning.

three || take care of myself. It's easy when you want to do so many fun things to sacrifice sleep, eating well, and showering (wait... Did I just say that out loud?) I need 7-8 hours of sleep to survive so I'm going to make that happen even when working nights!

three || study the Christmas story. We read it every Christmas Eve but this year I want to really read it. Really understand it. And have it truly bring me closer to my Savior.

four || stop stressing about doing everything. There is always next year. Say yes to things that really matter to you but say no to the things that are just overwhelming.

four || simply love, pray for others, be a light, spread Christmas cheer to the families who are spending their Christmas in the NICU, take a step back and be aware of others.

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The good news is though, that since writing this post, my family came over and my mom helped decorate the tree. My dad put the lights on my Charlie Brown tree so I can put ornaments on it today. And the house is now not only decorated but semi-clean! And we got to dip chocolates- Christmasy thing #2! Thank goodness for family to brighten my mood.