"i love the person i've become, because i fought to become her."

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I found this quote a few months ago and I absolutely loved it. I'll be the first to admit that the person I was four years ago was slightly insecure, moderately depressed, severely anxious, and overall quite the mess. I've always been mature beyond my years but that doesn't mean that at 19 years of age I was the person I'd always wanted to be. I knew who I wanted to be. 

I wanted to be a nurse. 

I wanted to be happy. 

I wanted to know who I was and love that person. 

I wanted to be a good wife. 

I wanted to be strong and secure. 

But, my mental illnesses and insecurities made sure that I knew, I would never be that person. I would never be who I wanted to be.

They lied to me.

I love this quote because for me, it truly was a fight. A fight that I never would have made it through without the unwavering love of Tristan. A fight that I had to choose to fight. And guess what, it was so worth it.

Today, I love the person I've become. Am I perfect? Do I want to stay this exact same person for the rest of my life? No. But I've made progress and who I am today is enough. I know who I am. I have far less insecurities than I did then. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. I've accepted the person I am and will continue to work on perfecting those parts of me that need a little more work. But overall, it's a huge blessing and relief to finally be at this point.

Despite all this, there are still days when I want to give up. I was at work this weekend when an overwhelming feeling of failure came across me. I wanted to quit right then and there.

Despite all this, there are always going to be people who don't like who we are. There are going to be people who try to make us feel little either passively or aggressively. And there are going to be days when we believe what those people are saying.

Despite all this, there are going to be setbacks. I'm going to make mistakes.

My insecurities lied to me and they are lying to you. Life is worth it. You are worth it. You are amazing just the way you are. Despite the inner voice that sometimes says you're not enough. Despite those people who don't like you and strive to tear you down. Despite your mistakes. You are amazing. Love the person you've become because I know that, like me, you have fought hard over the years to become her.