my long-distance marriage survival guide

As most of you know, I spent April-September last year living across the country from Tristan. It sucked. Being pregnant, going to doctor appointments alone, having no one to go on late night craving runs for me, sucked. Going to bed every night alone, sucked. Cooking for one person, didn't happen. I tried to be positive and if you ever asked me how I did it, I almost absent-mindedly answered, "we do what we have to do" but it wasn't fun. Sometimes you just have to call it how it is and living apart from my husband for over 5 months sucked.

When we were finally reunited, life was perfect! I realized that it was the littlest things that I missed the most. Things like... having someone to talk to about the good and bad after a long day at work. snuggling before bed. getting in my car to realize that he had filled it up with gas for me. going grocery shopping together. And I told him, "we are never, ever doing that again!"

Well, here we are. 

Another summer is before us. 

And turns out, we are doing that again. 

It'll be a little bit different this time because eventually I will meet him out there. But not before two months of long-distance living.

one | get on the same page

how often will you talk on the phone? how many pictures a day will you send to one another? who will visit who?

two | make FaceTime your best friend

I hate FaceTime but in a long-distance relationship, you have no choice but to love it. Tristan is so busy during the summer that we usually only facetimed once a week but we made sure to at least text as often as possible and talk on the phone daily. Anytime we would get into fights, it was because we hadn't communicated as often as we needed to.

three | set an end date

The only way I made it through the summer was by looking forward to the next time I would see him.  An end date could be the time that you will be reunited once and for all. Or, it could just signify the end of one stretch and the beginning of the next.

He left the first day of April and I made it through that month by anticipating my time to visit him in May. After that, I made it through the next month waiting for him to come home to visit in the middle of June. Then, I made it by looking forward to the birth of my baby so he could come home again! And finally, I made it to the home stretch by having him set a specific date that he was done, no. matter. what.

four | realize that it does get better

The first couple of weeks are by far the hardest but eventually you can get used to anything. Being apart, as horrible as it is, becomes your new normal. If you can survive the first little bit, I think you can survive anything.

five | have a life outside of your relationship

This one is the key. At least for me. If I holed up at home, I would quickly fall into the depths of depression. Staying busy by working, taking my dog on walks, and hanging out with family and friends kept me from dwelling on the fact that I was alone and lonely. Find new hobbies, watch the tv shows that your significant other doesn't like, do things that make you happy.

Long-distance is never ideal but it is bearable if you have the right mindset. I just have to focus on why we are doing it (financial stability) and come up with fun ways to make sure he knows I love and miss him (sending him care packages).