10 Reason I'm a "Bad" Mom

Yesterday I was on facebook (why?!?) when I saw a post on one of the mommy groups I follow about how someone was upset because another mom said to her that she didn't work because she wanted to be the one to raise her kids. The comments were flooding in and I stupidly read some. It's a LDS mommy group so you can imagine that the majority of the comments were on the side of the mom who made the comment, not the mom who works and was hurt by the comment. For a split second I felt my blood boil, so I closed facebook. I couldn't stop thinking about it though. The mommy groups on facebook can be helpful. I've received quite a bit of good advice. But, they are also the perfect place for mom bashing and mommy wars.

As a first time mom, I wanted so badly to do everything just right. But in a world with so many conflicting opinions, its quite nearly impossible. Before I had Mckai, people would tell me to take lightly the advice of others. I wanted to take advice lightly but it was so hard because I really had (have) no idea what I'm doing. Luckily, I'm almost 9 months into this and I've come to the realization that I am doing the best that I can. I absolutely love and adore Mckai with my whole heart and as long as he knows that, I think he'll turn out just fine.

So, I've decided to just throw it all out there. These are all the reasons I can possibly think of that someone would think I'm a bad mom. If we get these out of the way, can we just all be friends and support each other though our differences? Because we all know moms need all the support they can get!

1. We may as well start with the reason this is all on my mind in the first place. I work full-time outside of the home. And I work because I want to. Sure, we get our insurance from my job and yeah, someday I'd like to not work full time. But if I absolutely did not want to work, Tristan and I could pay for private insurance and call it a day. I like my job and I don't think I could be content staying home day after day. I know I'm a better mom because I work.

2. I circumsized my baby boy. No it is not medically necessary. There are pros and cons both ways and I chose to do it.

3. You've heard it said, "breast is best" or "fed is best". Some people will think I'm a great mom because I breastfeed. Others will think I'm judging them if they aren't. I breastfeed because I like to and because it's free. But, I gave my baby formula from a bottle on his first day of life and until my milk completely came in so I totally get the other side too.

4. While we are talking about breastfeeding... I take medications. Obviously they are approved by my doctor but still, I definitely should have weaned off everything the second I found out I was pregnant ;)

5. I sleep trained my baby boy when he was 5 months old. I had close family members send me articles about how crying it out negatively affects the mental state of your baby and I cried. I doubt they were trying to make me feel horrible but all I could think was that they assumed I was scarring my baby for life. I felt the need to justify my decision, "it's a modified CIO method, I go check on him every 5 minutes, etc..." Luckily I have a level-headed (not postpartum hormonal/crazy) husband who reminded me that it doesn't matter what other people think and that we are doing what we think is best for our baby. We moved on with life. And my baby started going to bed between 8-9 pm rather than 10:30-11:30 pm. He started sleeping through the night the majority of the time. And he started waking up happy rather than screaming every single time. We were all happy and guess what, Mckai still loves me! I guess only time will tell if I've scarred him mentally for life but for now, I'm pretty happy with the results :)

6. I don't make my own baby food. gasp! I know, I know... But I just don't have time and quite honestly, I just don't want to.

7. My baby sleeps with a blanket and his lovie. He also sleeps on his belly and I've never worried about it (though I do have a video monitor that I frequently check). I do have one thing going for me though! We don't use bumpers so ha! I am a good mom! :)

8. Mckai liked watching TV from the time he was born so we let him. Luckily, it doesn't interest him these days but if it did, I'd let him watch it. Not all day every day but sometimes mom just needs to get things done and in my book, that's okay.

9. I will immunize all of my kids and I will do it on the set schedule because I trust the doctors.

10. I use Johnson & Johnson products. I never would have known that was a problem until I joined the mommy facebook groups so I can thank them for keeping me informed!

I absolutely love #projectigotyoback. Go check it out! 

We are all different moms who are amazing in our own way. 

What ways are you considered a bad mom?