My gratitude list.

It's a week before Thanksgiving so I thought I'd take a minute to do my annual gratitude list. This tradition started when I was barely hanging on, overtaken by my mental illness. And though I haven't needed to write these lists for the same reasons I needed to that year, they still make my heart happy reflecting on all that I have.

These are the 30 things I am most grateful for this year:

1. Number one, forever and always, Tristan Nicolas. My best friend. The person who makes me laugh, knows my flaws and loves me anyway, spoils me like I'd never spoil myself, and tells me every day how special I am to him. This life is the very best with him in it!

2. McKai Nicolas. He is the brightest sun in this world but especially in my world. From day one his favorite thing to do has been smile... and with that little dimple and those blue eyes... it instantly makes the day good. He makes me feel special when he gives me hugs and kisses or holds on to my leg. He loves me even on the days that I feel like I'm failing in every way. He has taught me to notice the littlest things in life and that makes all the difference.

3. Kacee. She saved my life that little ESA. No one understands my mood swings like her and nobody gets me out of the house and on walks like her. She's the best nap buddy and the prettiest girl, I never knew I could love an animal until I met my Kacee girl.

4. And on that note... being a mom. The very best job and calling in the world.

5. My family. Oh how lucky we are to live so close to those we love the most! Mckai loves to cuddle with Nate when he's getting tired, be thrown in the air by Andrew, and be called "boyfriend" by Shay. He loves playing with his cousins. I love that my mom is always up for doing things during the week on those days that I just need to get out of the house. And this past week, my dad gave me one of the greatest gifts I've ever received... a nativity set that he carved out of wood. Insert all the tears. To say I've been blessed is an understatement. We love them so much!

6. My in-laws. When I think about all the people in the world who don't get along with their in-laws, my heart swells with gratitude that I love mine. Nobody is more giving than Tristan's dad. Nobody is more caring than Tristan's mom. Nobody can make us laugh like Sean can. Nobody loves McKai more. And if we had to decide who McKai's favorite person in the world is... hands down Ashley.

7. A nanny that we trust and who loves McKai. How can you not be happy about adding another person in your life that loves your kid? I hope he sees how loved he is.

8. Good friends.
- Jenn. She made this summer the best one yet!
- Maddy. It's so fun to be in the same stage of life together, Mckai and I love getting together with her and Jude!
- Megan. My very best friend since day one. She has been there forever and never gives up on me.
- online friends who I've never even met but support me in hard times.
And so many more who make this life great, thank you!

9. The opportunity to travel. This has by far been one of my greatest blessings. I love exploring new places and learning new cultures. I hope McKai always loves to travel too. There are times I feel impatient because I "just HAVE to see Italy now!". But then I remember how many places I have seen and remind myself that its better to focus on what I have and not what I don't!

10. A place to call home. A beautiful house. A friendly neighborhood. Despite how much we love to travel, there really is no place like home.

11. A job that I love. It's true that I have the best job in the world. Whether it's watching miracles happen, comforting families in one of the hardest times of their lives, or just giving a cute feeder/grower a bath... I'm so lucky to be a part of it.

12. Aptive Environmental. Tristan's job has awarded us with more opportunities than I could have ever imagined for my family. He works hard and for that, I am so grateful!

13. Loyalty. This one has been a huge one for us this year.

14. My past : to see how far I've come and just how much potential I have.

15. My dreams : hopes and dreams for the future bring meaning to every day life.

16. A healthy body that was able to create a beautiful baby boy. that is able to work and go about normal life. that is able to hike, bike, ski, swim and do all the things that I enjoy most.

17. Peas... the one vegetable that I know Mckai will eat every single time, no matter what!

18. A new calling as an achievement days leader. New callings stress me out... but I'm feeling content about this new calling because I feel like those young girls can teach me a lot and I also feel like it's a calling that I will enjoy making time for.

19. Reading : sometimes it's nice to just lose yourself in another world... coming back to your own rejuvenated.

20. Memories & all the ways to preserve them.
- mixbook. Oh how I enjoy putting together our digital scrapbooks and even more so, looking through them time and time again. I recently ordered Mckai's first scrapbook and he loves to look at it. I think he knows it's him :)
- blog. A journal of the last 5 years of our lives.
- movies. I never knew how much video captured that photos didn't until I started making movies and now I hope I never go back. I could watch them over and over again.

21. Greek yogurt.

22. My bed.

23. Fresh air.

24. Naps. Whether that means a nap myself or the few hours a day when Mckai naps so that I can get things done or just have me time.

25. My electric blanket.

26. Natural light streaming in the windows.

27. Slap happy moments that make mckai laugh the most.

28. People who share their talents : my hair dresser, Bailey for doing my eyebrows, doctors, photographers, and writers.

29. Sodalicious for night shifts.

30. Glasses and contacts so that I can see the world clearly.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

I hope you take some time to reflect on what you are most grateful for this year!