Life as an Introvert

I can't count the number of times I've been accused of being shy or impossible to get to know. When I was in the fourth grade my older sister's classmates called me the glare witch. Guys, the look on my face... it always looks like that! I'm not mad or sad I promise!

For most of my life I honestly believed that I was just shy. And that was that. Sad to say, it was only two years ago that I was finally "diagnosed" an introvert and taught exactly what that means. Suddenly, life made so much more sense!

Let me explain.

I like to think of it like an electronic device that has to be charged. An introvert is someone who recharges by being alone. On the flip side, when you're an introvert, being in social settings drains your battery.

Now I'll let the internet explain.

"[Introvert is] a term introduced by the psychologist Carl Jung to describe a person whose motives and actions are directed inward. Introverts tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings and minimize their contact with other people."

Let's explore a few characteristics of the more introverted personalities, shall we?

•  Introverted does not mean shy: There are plenty of shy people in this world. As there are also plenty of introverted people in this world. But shyness does not explain introversion. Shy people avoid social situations because of a fear/anxiety whereas introverts avoid social situations simply because they want to.

•  Text messaging is a lifesaver: I'd argue that introverts are the best at screening calls, dodging people we know in public, or pretending no one is home when the doorbell rings. It's not that we don't want to talk to our best friends or even husbands (sorry, Tristan...) it's just that we need time to prep for social situations and phone calls don't allow time for that. Text messaging on the other hand, allows us the freedom to respond when we are ready to respond and socialize with less pressure.

• Don't make me go get my haircut by myself: I think people sometimes make the assumption that I can't make decisions without Tristan's consent or that I can't go anywhere without Tristan. The fact of the matter is, I beg Tristan to come with me to my eyelash or hair appointments because I hate. No really I despise small talk. And Tristan is really good at small talk. So if he comes with me, it makes it a much more enjoyable experience.

• But, I'm a great listener for deeper conversations: On that note though, while small talk is draining, deep and meaningful conversations make introverts feel alive. I got my reputation as a listener long ago and here's why: Introverts think before they speak. This also gives me the reputations of being quiet. But that's okay. Introverts internalize everything rather than thinking out loud. So when they do speak, there is often more meaning behind their words.

• Entertaining is for the extroverts: You may have wondered why your introverted friend never invites you to their home (and by your introverted friend, I mostly mean me :). It's not because I don't like you. And it's not because I don't like my home. In fact, I really like you and I'm also very proud of my home. It's because I want to have the freedom to be done socializing when I am spent and you can't really leave your own house.

• Going out with friends is not relaxing: That's the truth and now it's out in the open. It's not that I didn't have fun, I really do have fun! It's just that I spend energy beings social whereas most extroverts draw energy from being social.

• Small groups are better than large parties: While all social situations are exhausting, over the years I've discovered what type of social situations I avoid the most. Tristan's work parties. Or large group dates. I've also discovered what type of social situations I can handle better. Intimate family get-togethers. Or double dates.

All this being said though, I understand that introversion and extroversion are not cut and dry and that most people fall somewhere along the spectrum. So, these are just generalities.

And all this being said, I really do like people :)